Peek-a-Boo, Baby!

Surprise!

Yes, that's right. Our family of four is going to become a family of five. 

As you may (or maybe do not) know, I struggle with infertility, specifically, Poly-Cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS), and after three years, started seeking assistance from a reproductive endocrinologist. It took a few months before finding the proper treatment, and after two cycles of Letrizol, my husband and I conceived our first miracle. Spencer was born on November 1, 2010.

We decided we were "ready" to expand our family again around the time that Spencer was six months old. We conceived a few cycles after starting on the same regimens, however, we were devastated by the loss of our second miracle baby during the first trimester of the pregnancy in September 2011.

After a couple of months letting my body heal, we conceived out third miracle, with the assistance of Letrizol, Metformin, and Progesterone. Collin was born on September 1, 2012.

We are so blessed.

While giving birth to Collin, I told Jake I would like to wait a little longer (at least a year longer) in-between Collin and our potential fourth miracle.

Well, sometimes, God has other plans.

Honestly, we were "trying" not to get pregnant. After I was no longer nursing Collin, my cycles were fairly regular for the first time ever (without medical assistance), so I was charting and planning around when it was the time of expected ovulation. Just in case by some crazy odds, I actually was ovulating on my own.

The beginning of August arrived, and according to my calculations, my period should have. I dismissed it as my body going back to its old unpredictable ways. But after I was about 7 days late, Jake and a couple close friends suggested that maybe, just maybe, I should test.

So, August 3, in the evening, I took an ept test. That's the "error proof test" brand.

And, ironically, the test produced an error. Malfunctioned. No line in the control window. The test window read negative so I told myself it was probably negative, and decided I would take the other one in the morning, and then my period would finally show up.

Well, early morning, Sunday, August 4, that test stunned me.

STUNNED ME.

I told myself the test was not reliable since the first one of the box was a failure. But my support system remained unconvinced, and later that day, I took another.

Jake was thrilled. The close friends I told were thrilled and shocked. 

I was terrified.

Not because I don't want another baby, because I do. But I kept telling myself that we aren't ready. With all the struggles we've been going through the last year, the timing was just not great.

But I was told by each person something along the lines of "God sees the bigger picture. His plan is not our own. You will be okay. This is a blessed miracle!"

I didn't want to tell my parents until I knew for sure, because I was not completely convinced. Also, I was very emotional yet. But two blood tests confirmed I am indeed pregnant again.

Two ultrasounds have shown me this amazing miracle. I've seen the heartbeat. 

My labs, for the first time ever, are excellent. 

I'm finally embracing it. It's sinking in. I'm preparing my heart and mind for this adventure.

And I'm still scared. Scared if we will be able to handle it. Terrified that we could lose this baby too.

But I'm choosing to be hopeful. I'm choosing to rely on God's bigger picture. I'm now choosing to publicly rejoice.

Join us, in prayers and joy, if you would love to!

I'm approximately 7.5 weeks pregnant. It's still a risky time. But, Baby Boo is looking healthy, and preparing to arrive in April 2014.

Special thank you to my friend Staci of Something Clicked Photography (http://www.facebook.com/SomethingClickedPhotography) for helping us with this special announcement!

Happy Due Date Day, Ollie!

Dear Collin,

It's hard to believe that it's been a full year since you were tucked away inside my body.

That's what you looked like one year ago.

I was so incredibly anxious to meet you. Not only because I had reached the point of constant discomfort weeks before, but because, one year ago, we didn't even know your name. To us, you were still Baby Bojangles. We didn't know if you were a boy or a girl, and we were finding it a bit agonizing to have to wait and find out.

For weeks, I had been having uncomfortable contractions, and thought maybe, just maybe you were arriving soon.

Goodness, I was wrong. Your stubborn (albeit adorable) little self decided to stay put. I spent the next thirteen days trying nearly everything I could to coax you to come out. I cried nearly every night, wondering why you weren't as excited to meet me as I was to meet you. 

And one year from your due date, you're walking around the living room, chewing on apples, laughing, smiling, and bringing us joy.

Someday, I will tell you these stories. Until then, I will just keep telling you "Happy Due Date Day, Ollie!" because it is absolutely adorable to see your face light up with your precious four-tooth grin as you squeal with delight at my greeting.  

Love, 

Mommy

South Dakota, I am ASHAMED. (And how you can help...)

Tonight, I read something that unnerved, upset... Well, frankly, pissed me off. Hardcore.

A few months ago, I blogged about the End It Now Movement and the huge prevalence of slavery/human trafficking that exists in our country, and worldwide.

http://goghgreen.blogspot.com/2013/04/reality-we-need-to-end-it.html?m=1

I have occasionally tried to do my part via social media, slacking, admittedly, to bring the issue to light. Tonight, though, I saw a graph that made me furious with my state (South Dakota) and the apparent complete disregard for the issue.

Now, yes, I realize there are many issues that officials need to address, I understand. But this one is too important to ignore completely. And, well, South Dakota is now the ONLY STATE IN THE COUNTRY that has not taken even basic steps to combat the issue. We are the ONLY STATE. 

It's SICKENING to me.

So tonight, I decided to start emailing my public officials. It's a start. And I'm praying others in the state will join in. If you live here, or know someone who does, take a few minutes to stand with me. If you can't think of what to say, you can copy and paste the following letter I wrote. I found my officials' emails via Google. It's that simple.

Here's the letter:

Good Evening.

I am writing you this letter out of deep concern for our state, our country, and our world.

You see, there is a huge issue that affects 27 million individuals worldwide, and I learned recently that our state is choosing to largely ignore this issue.

This issue is one of basic human rights. The right to NOT be owned by another. To not be property. Yes, I am in fact writing about slavery.

Slavery STILL EXISTS TODAY. In our country. According to the End It Now Movement, "Most people think that slavery in the United States ended with the Civil War. But right now, as you read this, there are roughly 200,000 slaves working in America. And 17,000 more will be trafficked in the next year." Also, from their site, which I provide below, "As many as 17,500 people are trafficked into the United States annually. That’s nearly 48 people a day who have become slaves on the very same soil where it was abolished 150 years ago. And the average age of these people? 14 years old."

Enough is ENOUGH. It is absurd to think this issue can be ignored.

According to the Polaris Project (also linked below), over the past year, our state has failed to do anything to combat this important issue. If you take the time to read and examine the graphic, we are now THE WORST STATE in the country when it comes to a lack of public, official, united concern for the millions still bound in slavery and human trafficking. We as a state should be ashamed to remain quiet. You as a public official should be ashamed that your power is not being utilized and your voice is silent.

Take a stand for humans. 

Let us work together to pass laws prohibiting human trafficking. Don't let our state live in the dark ages. Don't let our state give the impression that it is okay. It most definitely is NOT.

Thank you,

Polaris Project- 

http://www.polarisproject.org/what-we-do/policy-advocacy/national-policy/state-ratings-on-human-trafficking-laws

End It Now Movement-

http://enditmovement.com/learn

Not on my watch.

Lately, things have been pretty crazy around here. With starting a new job and such, we are all learning to adjust to new ways of life.

And I've been learning more lately about what it means to do things according to my plan, versus God's plan.

My plan changes from time to time, admittedly. I like to think I have a pretty decent understanding of things and what would be smart decisions and what kind of things we should strive for now and what we should hold off on.

But it seems like, which, truthfully I know but honestly forget, I'm not really as "in the know" as I try to deceive myself into believing.

More details later, but lets just say that my plans and God's plans are very different sometimes, now being one of those times, and I'm finding myself needing to lay down my arms and embrace what he has in store. I need to worry about it a little less and lean on Him a little more.

If you've a few prayers to spare, I wouldn't mind them being offered up on my behalf.

A Permanent Reminder (or 7...)

Sometime after my grandma passed away in 2007, I knew that someday I wanted a tattoo in her honor. I didn't know right away what I wanted it to be, so I waited for inspiration to hit me. 

On December 29, 2009, I finalized the design I wanted.

I Love You.

It's a simple, yet powerful message. And it's one that my grandma was sure to relay as often as possible. In every letter I have from her from my college years, she began and ended it with "I love you." I didn't realize it until one weepy day after she passed, and when I did finally notice it, it became something I thought was very special. I don't know many people who write letters that way.

So, that realization was what decided my tattoo. And, I put together the design. It is actually from two separate letters, because I wanted to make sure Love was capitalized (for emphasis) and I took the hearts from the second letter as well.

Green was her favorite color, and it's one of mine as well, so the hearts I made green. The lines were on the signature of one letter also.

Fast forward to a few months ago, I posted in my family Facebook group that I was finally saving up for the tattoo because I had decided on the location.

Somewhat to my surprise, multiple family members told me they thought it was a wonderful tattoo idea, so, I suggested maybe we get them together if we could find a date to do it.

That date was today (soon to be yesterday). June 22, 2013 was our "I Love You Tattoo" party.

My mom, my sister, my aunt, and three cousins all headed to the tattoo parlor (the Electric Crayon in Sioux Falls), and had a tattoo marathon. I wanted to go first, and my family was willing to let me.

I don't know that I was prepared for how exciting this tattoo would be. I was told (multiple times) that I was super giddy. I was. I was smiling and highly like a child on Christmas. It was SPECTACULAR.

And I was equally giddy for the next six tattoos.  My sister went next, then my mom, my aunt, and my three cousins. 

It was so much fun to sit there and talk and laugh and reminisce with these amazing women as we all became permanent bearers of my grandmother's important message.

We laughed talking about how it looks just like Grandma wrote on us with a nice pen, which is ironic, because she always told us not to write on ourselves.

We each picked a location on our body for our special memoir, some if us used the underlining, some of us didn't. But, the message and the green hearts were constant.

And, because my youngest sister and one of my cousins aren't old enough yet to have the permanent memoir, our artist sent the two remaining stencils with us to allow them to at least display the important and beautiful message temporarily. 

Someday, they too will wear it permanently, as may more of our family members. I hope so, not for my own benefit, but because I think it's a powerful reminder to us that we are all bound by love, and we are all loved for who we are. There's no greater gift than that!

Today was definitely a day I will remember always and a memory I will cherish the rest of my life.

Thank you, mom, Sam, Kat, Tarah, April, Naomi, Allison, and Hannah!