Twelve... Thirteen...

And, once again, it's New Year's Eve.

Like the past few years in a row, I have nothing special planned. We don't have tv channels, so we won't be watching the ball drop. No fireworks.

I'm hoping Jake will be home from work before midnight and the two of us can calmly and quietly ring in the New Year, sitting in the living room, wishing Collin to sleep. Maybe we will have a glass of wine or two.

I remember years past being so excited about the change of the calendar year. Now, I am not so sure why. The numbers are so arbitrary and mean nothing to me really other than for record keeping.

I don't have New Year's resolutions. I find it silly to wait until the first day of a new year to make changes in one's life. I understand why some do it, but I don't really feel the urge to operate that way.

But, over the past months and weeks, I have come up with some changes I would like to and have been working on for myself. I want to pray more. Worry less. Sleep more. Organize more.

Create more.

That is my favorite change in lifestyle. I have been working for a best friend cutting fabric for her. She has her own business. It's been an honor and a pleasure. She also loaned me her old sewing machine. I used it to create Christmas stockings for the four if us. That is what inspired my urge to create more. Creation for me will not be confined to sewing (though I will be starting on a quilt for my sister shortly), but include other forms such as poetry, prose, handwritten journal letters to my friend Desi, drawings, crafts, photography, graphics, food...

I love to create.

The past year was wonderful, having Collin join the family, and moving out of our former wretched duplex rental to a single family home rental, with quite a large hardship in the middle bringing us closer together as a family. Ups and downs, like every year in the past and I am sure every year to come. I look forward to the next calendar year and what is has in store of course, but as I said, time is fluid, continuing always, and the change in number doesn't mean much as far as my life experiences go (except for things like taxes, haha).

Regardless of how big a deal it is to you, or even how little it may mean, Happy New Year, everyone.

The first week

Last week, quite randomly, it seems, Jake was hired somewhere.  I'm a cruddy wife, honestly, as I have NO idea what the place is called that hired him.  Or his boss's name. Or entirely what he does.

But, he was hired.  I hope it's a permanent thing.  He's been working for a week now.  It's quite a relief.  Mostly.

It's tough, though. I went from having him home and helping with the boys the majority of the time to having him gone the majority of the time overnight.  Really.  He found out about the job and that they would hire him and started the next day.

The job is long hours.  He leaves before the boys get up and generally isn't home until way past supper.  Six days a week. The first few days were quite an adjustment.  The boys both started to get pretty sensitive and cranky around supper time, I assume missing daddy.   We plowed through, and by the end of this week, we have mostly adjusted, I think.

He came home early tonight, and I got to get out of the house.  I'm on "vacation!"  The past few days have been rough.  Spencer has been a bit whiny, and Collin hasn't really wanted to nap.  I feel like I haven't gotten a dang thing done at home, even though I know that's not true.

I've done 8 loads of laundry.  Countless loads of dishes.  I roasted a turkey. I made homemade soup.

And, I've cleaned the house multiple times.  Though, heaven knows you couldn't tell. Spencer is quite a tornado.  I feel defeated at the end of the day if the house looks like a toy-closet explosion, but, generally, it does, and I'm trying to not be too hard on myself.  

Somehow, today, both boys and I were playing in the basement, which is currently a toy den, and I got it mostly cleaned WHILE he was playing in it.  I call that a triumph!  I'm super-mom!  Of course, I'm sure by the time I get home again, it'll look like it did pre-cleaning, but that'll be how it is, I guess.

I don't have much more to say about this all, but I wanted to provide an update, because the past few blog entries have been a bit heavier and written with a less hopeful heart.  While we're still struggling, I think we're finally struggling upward instead of downward.   I'll take it as it is and pray that it continues to improve.