Friday, July 30, 2010

It's been a while, but here I am, blogging again!

Hey ya'll!

After a week and a half of internet-less existence (as in, no fully functional computer at home), I'm back!

I had my 3 hour glucose test a week ago Tuesday, and I passed. This was the same day that Lindsay Lohan went to jail, which obviously makes the occasion all that more memorable.

I went in and ended up being there for almost five hours, actually. I got to watch people line up and stalk miss Lohan for quite some time, before and after her sentencing and transportation to jail. Not going to lie, I was amused. My favorite part: when someone threw glitter as she arrived at the courthouse. I found myself in a fit of giggles in the waiting room with people from across the room giving me the stink eye. I didn't care. I was on a sugar buzz!

I decided though, if I went to jail, I sure hope it would be as important to people as Lohan's jailing was. I mean, really. I want paparazzi, and someone sure as heck better be stalking me via helicopter cam. It's the only reason I can think of going to jail as worthwhile. Publicity! Woohoo! Luckily, I have quite a few friends who are camera savvy, so I'll just have to let them know.

Yeah right, like I could see myself being in jail.

Moving on. Spencer! He's doing well. He's getting big, or so it feels, and I'm 26 weeks 3 days today. I find my abdomen hurts randomly and I have cramps that hurt pretty badly sometimes (the doctor says it's Braxton Hicks contractions, so that's fun).

The other morning, Jake and I were in bed, with his arms around me, and we both felt Spencer kick and punch at the same time, on opposite sides of my abdomen. It was awesome, and kind of weird. That's when I realized how big he must be!

Jake says I'm getting pretty "pregnant" too. That's a nice way of saying my belly is big, I guess.

I had my sister take a few photos of me tonight, using an idea that came to me when Spencer wouldn't stop kicking one night as I tried to fall asleep. I'm actually sucking in my stomach for this one, but it's the only one the words were really clear. We're going to redo the photo shoot when it's not getting dark outside, and that will help.

Here's the clear one.

FYI: My resizing job sucks so it's kind of strange looking. Deal.
Last night, Jake decided to stack our DVD towers on top of each other and put the TV on top of both of them. It's now half a foot from the ceiling, give or take. Random info for you.
Alright, that's all I've got for now. I'm going to spend time with my wonderful sister.
Much love!

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Late Night Panic Attack.

After watching a disc of House M.D. episodes with my sister, who is back at my house for the remainder of the summer (more or less), I went to bed pretty late last night.

I had a couple of really wretched dreams.

Both involved Jake, my husband.

In the first, I was with my cousin, her wife, my sister, and Jake for a bit, at a big... frat house type party. I was pregnant, so I wasn't drinking, and Samantha and I were just having a good ol' time laughing it up with Jake, when Jake said he wanted to go get something out of our place. So he did. And then he never came back. A few hours later, I called and called and called and he didn't answer. So I had my cousin call him, and she disappeared into a bar next door to talk to him. I couldn't find her either, for a while. I eventually did, but then she told me he was on his way to Utah. He just needed to go. He didn't say if he was coming back, or how long it would be, or whatever, and I was stuck there, without him, having a baby. Yikes!

Granted, I know he won't leave me, so I'm not really worried about it, but it was a horrible dream to have anyway.

The second, I dreamt I was at home reading a book, and got the worst visit ever, from the Sheriff, telling me that Jake had gotten into an accident on the way home and had died.

I HATE these kind of dreams. When he's driving home late (like he was last night after I fell asleep), I always fear that he won't make it home. Always.

So I woke up at 3:15 (or so, I didn't have a clock near me) and realized he wasn't in bed. Hmm.

I looked in the living room, and I found his phone, but I didn't see shoes or anything. The truck that he had drove last night was not out front either, so I didn't know where he was.

By this point, I'm surged with adrenaline and thinking the worst, partially because I worry, and partially because I'm pregnant, hormonal, and exhausted at this point.

I try to wake my sister to see if she's heard from him, but she didn't wake, and I couldn't find my phone to see if he had contacted me, but there was no record in his phone. I eventually find my phone, but no calls or anything of course, and I take both with me in my bathrobe. I notice the back room light is on, which is odd, so I go outside. I then see the truck blocking the garage, which is strange to me also because it's noisy and parked right outside our bedroom, and I don't recall it getting there. And the light is on in the garage...

That freaked me out. I get both phones in my hand and I open the door... and don't see him (or anyone) anywhere in the garage. The only noise is the radio. I start shaking pretty badly but walk into it a little further...

And I see his legs under my cousin's truck and I start crying silently because he is NOT moving nor making noise.

And then he hears me, and asks if I'm okay. I start sobbing more loudly and tell him how I was scared and couldn't find him and dreamt he died and blah blah... hysteric rant. He has me sit down on the dolly thing next to him until I calm down and am no longer dizzy and nauseous, before he gives me a hug and a kiss, lets me cry, tells me he's okay, it's okay, he loves me, wouldn't leave me, and he'll be in to bed shortly.

Apparently, since he's such a nice guy (and somewhat of an insomniac on any given night), he was changing the oil in my cousin's vehicle.

I came back to bed and cried myself to sleep, tears of relief, of course.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

It's a Boy!

The secret is out.

We're going to be having a son this fall (hopefully late October/early November)! We're absolutely elated.

I don't feel bad. I felt bad when I let the secret slip to Jake.

Yesterday, I was at work, and a 3 year-old informed me that my baby was taking my first name as it's last name. The child's lead teacher had told her that I had a baby in my tummy, and she asked the name. So I told her, and she said something along the lines of "So, his name is ****** Nicole." I asked why, and she informed me that my baby had to have a last name!

I came home from work and updated my facebook status to say that a 3 year-old told me that my baby was going to have my first name as it's last name.

The first response was, "hahaha! That's funny!"

The second was from my dear husband, who did not realize what he had said, until I pointed it out to him 14 hours later, after I had logged into facebook and saw the excitement unfolding after it. He said, "so.... Spencer Nicole it is? Well... it could be worse."

Yes, he had let the name slip, along with it, the sex of our first child.

I got the giggles really badly, and barged into the bathroom asking him, "Do you know what you did 14 hours ago!?" I told him and then told him he had better call and tell his parents before someone else did.

So, the secret, as I said before, is out. I thought I'd be more bummed, but I'm not, at all.

In other news, as I don't know if I've said this before, you can see my belly move when he kicks or punches. It's crazy cool. And I'm 24 weeks along today.

Monday, July 5, 2010

(Not so much) Golf Queen.

In honor of Independence Day, or rather... it being a day when both Jake and I were at home and had no plans, my dear husband took me out on a date day.

We started off at home, naturally, and were pretty lucky that Tarah (my cousin), made breakfast for everyone. It was delicious! After, I got all purdied up... well, maybe not, but I did wear a skirt and straighten my hair.

Jake took us first to Barnes and Noble. We like to go there and just peruse books, find something that strikes our fancy on any given day, enjoy a little Starbucks treat, and chat. Today, I looked at books of Ireland, as I have a strong desire to go there sometime.

We shared a piece of white chocolate raspberry Cheesecake Factory cheesecake. Superbly delicious!

We spent a short time shopping at Wal-Mart for a few necessities, and driving around town with the windows rolled down in his truck, which, despite my lack of passion for driving the truck, and the fact that I'm not a huge fan of the bumpy ride, I quite enjoy. I think I mentioned on my old blog how riding in his truck reminds me of one of my favorite songs, "Power Windows," by Billy Falcon.

We then went out for dinner at my favorite restaurant, Hu Hot Mongolian Grill.

Then, we went to the new theater in town to see a movie... only... we couldn't decide on any to see that were within an hour of the time in which we arrived (we didn't plan ahead), and so we just looked at the marquee a while and left. I think the people at the box office probably thought we were nuts, but hey, no big deal. After calling the other theaters in town and realizing they had basically the exact same shows at the exact same time, we gave up the movie idea.

Then, the best surprise of the day... Thunder Alley! Yay! It's a place with Go-Karts, Human Foosball, some other stuff... and my favorite activity there... MINI GOLF!

I've noticed I often start off a round of mini golf really strong. And then.. the second hole, and each consecutive... not so good. But I tell you what, regardless of my score, I thoroughly enjoy it! Jake totally kicked my butt, of course, both rounds. I did better the second round by 15 whole points, which was fantastic, and got a hole in one! The only downsides to the mini-golf: mosquitoes, and my skirt. Yeah... squatting down to get my ball was probably a treat for anyone who happened to be looking. Of course, I didn't realize it right away, so the entire first round I was more than likely (at least almost) flashing whomever was in the area. Ah well.

I am pretty sure I laughed more today (for various, mostly unknown to me now, reasons) than I have in the entire previous week. I do remember laughing hysterically when I told him one of the theaters in town reminded me of the movie musical Zanadu which I think is a horrible excuse for entertainment, and he loves it. And, I told him how Robert Pattinson is not only creepy, but not hot, at all... unless you count that he's hotter than Richard Simmons. But beyond that, not so sure what I thought was funny. I just know the day was great.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Celebratory Episode of Epic Fail.

Last week Wednesday (June 23), I found out the sex of our baby! Jake didn't want to know, so I promised I wouldn't tell him, or at least try as hard as I could to keep him from knowing.

Earlier this week, I was the wonderful instigator of an early-morning episode of "Epic Fail."

Jake (my husband), and I were lying in bed on Wednesday morning, cuddling, taking in some early morning light, and mostly, on my part, avoiding being fully awake and trying my best to squeeze a few extra moments of sleep out of my morning. I've never really been a morning person, and much less of one lately, it seems.

For a few weeks now, Jake has been fortunate enough to be able to feel the baby lightly kicking from inside if he rests his hands on my stomach. Many places or people would say it's too early (22 weeks this week), but I know that it's true, because I have placed my hand there and felt it as well. So, he's not crazy for wanting to try to feel any chance he can get, in my opinion. (Sidenote: we noticed tonight you can see movement in there too sometimes, which is really awkward and totally awesome.)

Back to Wednesday morning, I was lying on my side, as I usually do nowadays, and his hand was draped over me and resting on my mid-section.

He said, after a short while, "I can't feel it kicking."

I responded, slowly, groggily, not paying a lot of attention to my words, "That's because [gender specific pronoun] isn't kicking right now." (Bet you thought I was going to tell here too, huh? Sorry, no such luck, still a secret!)

Immediately, or almost so, I started sobbing uncontrollably and buried my head into my pillow so he couldn't see my face. I cried and cried and apologized, and Jake just smiled and laughed a little.

I felt HORRID. Like a failure. Like I let him down and ruined the best surprise ever. He kept asking, "is it true? is it?" I finally mustered "would I be this upset if it wasn't?!" (Meaning, of course what I said was right and I'm ridiculously sorry for saying it...)

He said, "I think you're more upset about telling me than I am knowing!"

I eventually calmed down and apologized without sobbing, and he forgave me. Sure, he was bummed that I let it slip of course, but he said he wasn't mad at me for it. I'm pretty lucky to have him as my husband, I must admit.

So, the surprise, for him, was off, and now he too knows the sex of our baby.

While I'm still really disappointed in myself for letting it slip, knowing how badly he wanted to be surprised on the day of the birth, I am kind of happy about it now, too.

I was having a really hard time keeping myself from using the proper pronoun around him, for one. It was really hard to think of our baby as an "it" once I knew if it was a boy or a girl.

But more than anything, I'm really excited that I can now let Jake know the details of my dreams and visions. From the moment I found out, I could see our child as a toddler, chasing our dear beagle, Wendell, around the house. I could see our child playing with us at a park, going to family gatherings, cuddling with us on the couch. I was having SO much fun thinking and envisioning and dreaming about the future with our child, but I was really sad that I couldn't share these details with my husband, the one I wanted to most of all.

And now I can. For that, I'm grateful, though still sorry. It's quite the paradox.

Truthfully, I think now, Jake is kind of excited too. He can start piecing together his own visions and dreams of our future.

I can't wait to see what really comes true.

And Jake, if you're reading this, I'm still sorry. But thank you for being so understanding, compassionate, and wonderful to me. You're my hero.