Now that's what I call a grocery list.

Yes, I just blogged an hour or so ago.

After I finished my last post, I took to my next task at hand, making our Schwan's list.

For those who don't know, my husband is a "Schwan's Man." Yes, that's right, I have the priviledge of being married to one of those fellows who, in the summer, wears those sexy tan shorts with reflective tape on them and a blue and white table-cloth-like shirt. He drives a big yellow truck with frozen food on it.

(I love Jake.)

Anyway, although my husband is a Schwan's man, we have another Schwan's man stop by our house every other Thursday. This happens to be the "every" Thursday he stops on. So, I needed to make a shopping list.

Since I throw out the catalogs I find lying around the house, I found myself without one this particular evening. Thus, I decided to make my list online.

I went about my business, opening up a new tab for every item I desired for my initial wish-list, and then added each item to the cart for review. I was about to go through and purge things I didn't really want/need this time around and then ask Jake for his thoughts, when I suddenly noticed my grand total...

$58,324.49

Well, what the heck, right?

I had to do a double take, and then I realized this is what my final cart ended up looking like:
4096 - Sweet Cream Cheese Pretzel Poppers $26,583.04
2048 - SCHWAN'S SNACK ROLLS® Buffalo Chicken $18,411.52

1024 - SPECIAL RECIPE™ Sausage and Pepperoni Pizza $5,109.76

512 - Tomato Basil Soup $4,602.88
256 - Loaded Baked Potato Soup $2,301.44
128 - Chicken Tortilla Soup $1,150.72
64 - Macaroni & Cheese - Limited Availability $447.36
32 - Fiesta Lime Chicken Meal for Two $319.68
16 - Chicken Enchilada $159.84
8 - Tuscan Vegetable Soup $28.72
4 - Pepperoni and Three Cheese Calzone $35.96
2 - Classic Club Oven Baked Sandwiches $17.98
1 - Italian Melt Oven Baked Sandwiches $8.99

Apparently, every time I added a new item, it doubled the quantity of the item I added before!

I about peed my pants laughing, and then of course, had to share my amusement with others. The visualization of all of those items had me in a fit of uncontrollable giggles when my husband called me on the phone to laugh about it with me. Can you imagine all that pizza?! I wonder how many guys in shorts it would take to carry them all here. Heck, I wonder how many big yellow trucks it would take? I'd need a meat locker to store all the pretzels in. I'd share though, that's for sure. I mean, we could have a pretzel-popper-palooza every day for at least a week! Yay!

For the record, our new list is much smaller, and much more affordable!

I have mental issues.

This morning, I had a dream in which my husband said I was being "im-appropriate."

I corrected him, and said it's "in-appropriate" or "improper."

I immediately woke up with this overwhelming urge to make a mental list of all the words I could think of that begin with the word/letters "imp."

I say overwhelming, because, try as I might to go back to sleep, or even think of anything else (like, perhaps a random song, I almost always wake up with one of those in my head), I couldn't, and the mental list basically started itself.

Of course, "imp" itself is a word, and the second word I came up with happened to be "imply," because it's an easy follower.

I kept going, and going, until I was came up with "impressionistically" and "imperialistically," when I decided, Hey, lady, you need to limit yourself to "base" words and stop adding suffixes because that could be considered cheating, and it's not fair to do that to yourself.

I decided also, at that point, the madness needed to stop. I'd be going for at least ten minutes.

So, I rolled over and woke up my husband. I told him about my game, and we laughed about it a good while, and about how I'm kind of a nerd, but he really loves me all the more because of it... and then he started playing this game as well.

I got distracted for a few moments by Spencer kicking and my urge to go to the bathroom... and shower. And in the shower, it continued. Until I decided that "percolate" is a fun word, even if it doesn't start with "imp."

So... there you have it. I have issues... and a fun list of words.

(These are the ones I could remember to type up and share)

Imp-List:

imply

implant

impress

impart

impel

impair

improve

impotent

improvise

impulse

impatient

impoverish

impose

imp

impartial

imperial

impervious

imperfect

imperil

impetigo

impervious

import

important

implicit

impervious

impassable

imperishable

impolite

impact

impetus

implore

implode

impeccable

impossible

impersonate

impressionist

imprecise

impark

implicit

impale

impure

(And a few from Jake):

impalpable

implecate

imprint

improve

impunity

Adventures of my Tailbone.

Last Saturday, I woke up and had an inclination that a cyst I had thought to have been rid of last month was sneaking back into my life. My husband agreed, but neither of us thought much more about it.

Come Saturday night, lying on the couch, I knew for certain it was returning.

Three times before this past week, I have had this severely painful, swollen lump at the end of my tailbone. When I was at the doctor in July, it was present, and it actually burst while I was in the middle of my appointment. It hurt like hell, bled, required antibiotics, and a surgical consult. They said that they would want to surgically remove it under normal circumstances, but being pregnant and all, I can't lie on my stomach, so they can't. So they said to call back if it returned.

Sunday, I dealt, despite the ridiculous heat and pain (I spent a lot of the day attempting to not put any pressure on my back, and it didn't really work), I survived. I didn't sleep that night, and went to work on Monday.

By the end of the day on Monday, I didn't think I could manage it any longer. I drove the truck home in complete and total agony, yelling inside the truck to myself, crying, etc.

So, Tuesday morning, I went to the surgeon again. Since they couldn't do full surgery, he opted to inject me with a numbing substance, and open up the cyst to drain it and relieve the pressure. I tell you what though, despite he and the nurse telling me how awesome I was doing since I wasn't trembling too much and wasn't sobbing and shaking and screaming (like apparently many who have that done, do), I felt like I might pass out from pain. Luckily the shot took effect quickly.

They drained it, gave me gauze, set up a return appointment, and sent me on my way. My sister and I walked home (because I refused to drive the six blocks to the hospital due to the pain from the ride the night before, and opted to overheat instead walking in the hellish summer), and I felt great... for about an hour. Then it hurt all over again from the incision.

I dealt, I slept a little, and on Wednesday, went back to work with the pain of a sunburn on my tailbone. Not so bad. Thursday, it hurt still, not as bad again, and today, Friday, I can sit without pain (pretty much anyway). I am delighted that it worked so quickly. My body was torturing me, for pete's sake!

Speaking of riding in the truck. Yesterday, I parked the truck with the windows ALL the way down, and then there was a freakish torrential downpour that I was unprepared for. Whoops. I drove home in a soggy mess, laughing my butt off on the phone to my best friend telling her all about it, and came home to my husband... who was not as amused. I couldn't stop laughing though, regardless. It was just absolutely hilarious to me that it happened, there was nothing I could do about it, and I was drenched all over my backside, and the truck all over the inside.

Ah, good times.

So, that's a wrap, for now.

It's been a while, but here I am, blogging again!

Hey ya'll!

After a week and a half of internet-less existence (as in, no fully functional computer at home), I'm back!

I had my 3 hour glucose test a week ago Tuesday, and I passed. This was the same day that Lindsay Lohan went to jail, which obviously makes the occasion all that more memorable.

I went in and ended up being there for almost five hours, actually. I got to watch people line up and stalk miss Lohan for quite some time, before and after her sentencing and transportation to jail. Not going to lie, I was amused. My favorite part: when someone threw glitter as she arrived at the courthouse. I found myself in a fit of giggles in the waiting room with people from across the room giving me the stink eye. I didn't care. I was on a sugar buzz!

I decided though, if I went to jail, I sure hope it would be as important to people as Lohan's jailing was. I mean, really. I want paparazzi, and someone sure as heck better be stalking me via helicopter cam. It's the only reason I can think of going to jail as worthwhile. Publicity! Woohoo! Luckily, I have quite a few friends who are camera savvy, so I'll just have to let them know.

Yeah right, like I could see myself being in jail.

Moving on. Spencer! He's doing well. He's getting big, or so it feels, and I'm 26 weeks 3 days today. I find my abdomen hurts randomly and I have cramps that hurt pretty badly sometimes (the doctor says it's Braxton Hicks contractions, so that's fun).

The other morning, Jake and I were in bed, with his arms around me, and we both felt Spencer kick and punch at the same time, on opposite sides of my abdomen. It was awesome, and kind of weird. That's when I realized how big he must be!

Jake says I'm getting pretty "pregnant" too. That's a nice way of saying my belly is big, I guess.

I had my sister take a few photos of me tonight, using an idea that came to me when Spencer wouldn't stop kicking one night as I tried to fall asleep. I'm actually sucking in my stomach for this one, but it's the only one the words were really clear. We're going to redo the photo shoot when it's not getting dark outside, and that will help.

Here's the clear one.

FYI: My resizing job sucks so it's kind of strange looking. Deal.

Last night, Jake decided to stack our DVD towers on top of each other and put the TV on top of both of them. It's now half a foot from the ceiling, give or take. Random info for you.

Alright, that's all I've got for now. I'm going to spend time with my wonderful sister.

Much love!

Laughing is (one of) my favorite activities.

It occured to me (today, and on many prior occasions), that I like to surround myself with family and friends who have a great sense of humor (individually, and collectively). Laughter is one of my favorite noises, and also one of my favorite activities.

Now, I don't seek out people who are funny, it just seems that I think all of my closest family and friends have moments of pure hilarity.

My wonderful husband makes me laugh on a daily basis. Often, it's fits of rolling laughter and school-girl type giggles where my voice gets really high and squeaky and I can't catch my breath.

My sister, Samantha, who is spending most of the summer living with us, is also one who can get me giggling. And Tarah, my cousin and dear friend, who lives in our basement!

I name these three in particular, because they all live in my house.

Anyway, today I got the giggles for no apparent reason, while my sister and I were driving through a parking lot. Giggling lead to coughing. Giggling lead to gagging. I rolled down my window afraid I was going to vomit all over the place, and pulled up to a stop sign. And as I did, some older lady in her car, coming toward us, was laughing and looking at me with a huge grin on her face. Glad I could spread some joy.

There's no real reason to this post, other than to say, I like laughter.

Happy Thursday.

Vicks Cures Me.

I will try not to make this too gross.

I'm going in reverse order when it comes to the joys of gagging and morning sickness that pregnancy bestows upon a woman. I had very little issue with any of it up until like... the end of last week. I mean, I'd have bouts of it, but nothing consistent.

It's like... my nose all of a sudden started working, and it's taking over other types of memory in my brain.

Now, I have had a broken nose twice, and I've felt like my sense of smell has been dulled for a few years. And yes, pregnancy totally kicks that up a notch, I read.

But lately... oh my. I work in an infant room at work. I love my job. But I can't seem to change a single diaper without almost losing it all over the place! It's going to be a long six months if that doesn't change. Luckily, one of my co-workers has been kind enough as to change the icky diapers and leave me to do the wet ones, but still, the look or even thought of a dirty diaper sends me gagging like a fool. It's never been a problem before!

Then today, I decide to take out the garbage bags in the downstairs hallway, because I've been neglecting them, as has Jake.

EPIC FAIL. As soon as I open the door... you can imagine. It didn't smell THAT bad, but it was enough to send me into my fit. And so I take one bag out, and I lose my marbles all over the driveway. And then I just can't stop.

So I take an intermission in the bathroom, (and by the way, the thought of hanging out by a toilet is really hard for me to stomach as well) and try to figure out what to do to get these dang bags out to the garage.

Vicks.

It's the only thing I can think of. So, I get the Vicks VapoRub cream out of the drawer and I slather it like shaving cream all over my nasal area. Yeah, nice and thick so I looked like an idiot.

But it saved me for the last two bags of trash.

I wonder how how much ridicule I'd get if I applied the Vicks method at work.