It was a message.
Last Sunday, I was in church, as I am almost every Sunday morning. Worship is my favorite part of the week, but last week, I was struggling to be in the right space with my heart and my mind open and free. I didn't realize it on my own until a gentle hand from beside me came, followed by loving guidance and prayer, commanding the enemy to flee.
And just like that, the tears began, as they often do, as I suddenly found myself in worship, really in worship.
And seconds later, I realized what was hindering me. You see, the week before was tough in momma-land. I struggled through it almost every day, having been sick for multiple days with a nasty stomach bug, the kids and I both feeling the strain of it mentally and emotionally. Each day was fraught, on some level, with challenges between my children and I, my children and each other, or myself and myself. And I had, on multiple occasions, doubted myself as a mother. More than once, I was wondering if I was a good mother at all, if I was really able to do it all as the only parent involved in my childrens' lives right now.
Much of the time, I believe I'm a good mom, because I know that I've got God with me in it all. I always know God is with me, even if I don't feel him, but I'm not impervious to the self-doubt that seems to plague most all mothers at some point.
But, in that moment, I was given a message.
"You wonder if you're a good mom, and you fear you are a bad mom. You fear you are not cut out for the job. But, you KNOW and you BELIEVE that I made you perfect in MY image. You know that I called you to be mother of those children. So, if you believe that you ARE perfect because I SAY you are perfect, then you must KNOW and BELIEVE that you ARE THE PERFECT MOTHER for your children. You are perfect."
Oh goodness, did I cry.
There was the answer to my doubt and my struggle.
Am I always a great mom?
Of course not. I struggle. I make mistakes. But, I try to learn from them, and I try my best (almost always) to be a good mom. I've prayed countless times, asking God if my purpose really is to "just" be a God-loving mother to my three children, raising them in the Spirit, and He seems to tell me that it is my job now, in this season, to focus on them.
So, I know that I'm called for them. But, I've doubted anyway. I'm human, after all.
But here I was, weeping, as I felt the Father telling me, so clearly, that I'm not good.. I am PERFECT.
Up until tonight, I hadn't shared this word with anyone. I've been keeping it in my secret arsenal as I began the week leaving church, thrown into battles and fires as a momma always is. But this week, it was different. I didn't doubt myself. I didn't doubt my parenting. I saw each battle as a lesson in growth, grace, mercy, persistence, and patience. Yes, I am sure I was imperfect in parenting. But, I AM the perfect parent for my children.
Tonight, in silent meditation on a two hour drive home, with the children sleeping in the back seats, I felt the pull to share my personal message.
Tomorrow is Mother's Day.
And I realized, this message isn't for me alone.
No.
This message is for all women out there in mothering roles- biological mothers, adoptive mothers, foster mothers, aunts, grandparents, sisters, close friends, mentors, teachers... and anyone else I may be unintentionally forgetting.
YOU are PERFECT. God made every single one of us, whether you accept Him yet or not. And knowing He made you, the Bible says that we are each fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14), and we were made perfect in God's image (Genesis 1:27- because God is perfect).
Each child you are given is a blessing from God, and if you accept your calling to be in the lives of child (young or grown, really), then you need to know that you are the perfect one for them.
Yes, you're going to make mistakes. You're going to be imperfect as a person, but you ARE perfect for the job.
In being imperfect and simultaneously perfect, it is your duty to embrace the imperfection, to learn from it, grow because of it, and share it. Because we are made stronger and we are formed more beautifully when we do. And, it's a blessing to others when we do.
Each of us is going to struggle. It's a given. But, knowing you're made wonderfully and specifically for the purpose of being a mother of any kind to any child in your life, you can carry on when you do fall short.
But, you have to be willing to accept God in it all, to live up to your true perfection's potential.
With God, you are renewed each day (Isaiah 40:31, Lamentations 3:22-23).
With God, all things are possible (Matthew 19:26).
With God, you can do hard things... like what I believe to be one of the hardest things of all- being a good mother. With God, you can keep on when you feel like giving up. You just have to ask Him to guide you, lead you. You have to abandon your need to have everything in control, and let Him be the one to help you. And it's easier said than done.
I have to do it, personally, every single day, and often more than once.
I believe in you, Mommas of all kinds. God believes in you, too. It's why He placed children of all kinds in your life.
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I apologize if this read was a little difficult to understand or decipher as I am quite exhausted and about to fall asleep. I just couldn't go to bed without getting it out there. I hope it makes at least a little bit of sense.
(This entire message also very much applies to every kind of father figure out there, too.)
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