Darling Norah,
You told me this morning that you can’t believe tomorrow is your birthday. Honestly, I’m finding it hard to believe it as well. This past year certainly pulled us all through the wringer, and while we’ve joked about it not “counting,” it most certainly does.
A year ago, as you reminisced today, I was “so super sick” and we “were stuck all by ourselves,” but it was also such a blessed birthday. Countless people sent or dropped off treats, balloons, and gifts, and your eyes sparkled with such joy.
This past year has helped sculpt us all, and one of the ways it affected you was helping you to be even more cognizant of the little joys and small victories in long, trying, isolating days. There have been so many times you have pointed out to me the ways that things are good or better, and it’s such a refreshing lens to look through. I love seeing those moments through the lens of your vision.
This year has also brought out some of the most generous and caring attributes of your personality and really let those facets shine. I remember the excitement at Christmas as we walked through a store where you chose gifts for a little girl across town that we didn’t know, with such a twinkle in your eye. You could not wait to surprise her with blessings to help make “her Christmas amazing.” You secretly mailed money to some of your favorite people, “just to be nice” and “to do a good thing.” When I told you about the groceries we were planning to bless someone with, you came up with an entire additional list of things that they needed, because kids need treats sometimes, even if it includes six flavors of Jell-O. You make me so proud. When we made tie blankets with the women’s group at church last fall, you loved it so much and were so inspired that you asked if we could “make a bunch” to donate ourselves. With the help of family and friends supplying so fleece, we ended up making a stack of blankets that was taller than you. You blow me away.
You’ve made sure to remind me through the year how great it is that I’m here. I know you and your brothers spent a long time worrying about me during various scary health struggles, and you are always cognizant of the fact that things could have turned out very differently. You admit that the times made you sad, but you are more aware of the fact that things are okay, and that you’re just happy that things turned around. Your optimism is inspiring on days I struggle to be that way myself. You’ve stepped up and been so incredibly helpful during my recovery, even though I know it occasionally irritates you to “have to be helping,” and I am incredibly grateful for you and your brothers during this challenge, because I know it’s hard on all of us, but you have all been quite gracious and patient in the situation.
Sure, over the year you’ve also gained a little extra sass, spice and spunk, and maybe a few decibels in your volume register, but you’ve also gained such resilience and intelligent along the way. I’ve loved watching you really blossom in reading, and seeing you bounce back up quickly and determined when things don’t quite go your way.
There’s been a lot of inconsistencies and change through the year, and you, my dear little lady, have shown such strength. I know that your strength will continue to grow, and that you have such amazing things in store for you. I cannot wait to see you take on the world, although, I wouldn’t mind if you slowed down just a little bit, and we can enjoy these younger years before they vanish with the wind. You and your brothers are all growing up way more quickly than I would like, and my heart aches a little bit looking at how the years have gone by so swiftly. The days may be long, but the years are short- or something like that. I’ve been told that so many times, and this year, it’s proven more accurate than almost any year before it.
I have loved watching your creativity bloom as well. Sure, you make a lot of little messes (and some giant ones, but who am I to judge because I make crafting messes too) and I feel like I’ll forever be finding scraps of paper, sequins, clumps of yarn, or bits of vinyl everywhere, but it excites me to no end to know that you seem to follow in my footsteps creatively, and although I will likely never run out of tiny little “notebooks,” it is absolutely wonderful to see the things made by your pretty little hands.
I love hearing you worship. More often than not, the songs that come through your voice while we are sitting at home or driving in the van are worship songs, and it makes my heart soar. It makes me giggle when the boys want to listen to Kids Bop, and you beg to change it to a worship station. When I look over and see you singing in church, it nearly takes my breath away. One of the most powerful moments that helped get me through my hospital stay was watching you sing and dance to worship songs in your dad’s basement. It lifted my spirits so greatly and brought me enough peace to rest a while. It was such a great gift that you didn’t even know you were giving me.
Another thing I’ve absolutely loved watching bloom is your relationships with your little girl cousins. They all have such joy in their eyes when they see you, and you are so patient and understanding with them, but also so incredibly excited when spending time with them. It’s so beautiful to me to watch those relationships form, because my cousins were also some of my very first and closest friends going up, and although there’s a few years in between me and my cousins, and a few years in between you and your cousins, I see the foundation for those lifelong friendships forming, and it blesses my heart immeasurably to watch you all flourish as you do.
The past year was filled with a lot of “missing out on” and “missing people” and I’m so sorry that life played out that way, but I am thankful for the many hours and days we all were able to spend together, even if sometimes it stressed us out. I am also so grateful that things are turning around this year, and more typical things are beginning to occur, and we can get back to some of the old traditions and joys that we have longed for over the months.
I am so thankful that this year, you can walk outside our doors and be greeted by many who love and care for you. I’ll miss seeing your delight all day long as you are celebrated and cherished at school, but I’m so very happy that I get to share you with the world again. You are a ray of sunshine in many people’s cloudy days.
Norah, I pray that this year you continue to flourish outside these walls, but also within them. I know God is moving in your heart, and I pray that you can continue to overflow to those around you, and it magnifies greatly. I pray you continue to have courage and tenacity in all situations, and that you really can feel how invaluable you are in this world. I pray you always not only feel beautiful, but know in your mind that you’re beautiful inside and out. I pray that you have confidence in who you are in all situations. I pray that you always take the honest road, and keep truth at the forefront- I know that is something that is hard in a world like ours, but I know you have the strength to do so. I pray that you touch the hearts of others and continue to show kindness and compassion. I pray your heart never hardens toward those around you. I pray you know how very loved you are. I pray that you can continue to change the world around you, and that the world around you does not change who you are inside.
I am so proud of you, little lady.
I can’t believe you’re going to be seven in the morning.
You think you love me most, but it just can’t be true. No one on (other than God, as you point out frequently) can love any one more than I love the three of you. I know, we debate this at least once a night. I love that about you, too.
Love, Mom
