Dearest Collin,
The day is upon us. Tomorrow, you will become my second teenager. As is always the case, I feel that this year has flown by and tomorrow could not possibly be your birthday again. As is always the case, I cannot slow time down, and tomorrow is your birthday again. Time is cruel in that way.
I want you to know that I have loved this last year with you, watching you grow and mature. I have loved this past year, because in some ways, time has been kind, and although you're a big kid, you still hold on to some of that younger-child joy. There's a sparkle in your eye when you wonder that I hope you never lose, like I believe you will never lose your love of dinosaurs. My momma heart hopes you hold onto that as long as possible. The world as a whole makes us grow up sooner than we should, often times, and holding onto those special things that bring you joy is important, if you ask me.
I know that you do not always agree with me, but Collin, you are so smart. So often, I will be talking about some random topic, and although I do not realize you're listening, from across the room, you will interject some random fact, or answer a question I hadn't even asked yet, and I absolutely adore that about you. I love the way your mind works. I find it to be an intriguing place, and I often muse about what kind of things are buried deep inside.
I have enjoyed watching you grow in courage as well. When you went to the youth group retreat this summer, I had a moment of tears, seeing you ready to experience something like that, far away from me, not knowing what to expect, but being full of anticipation. I heard such wonderful things about you and the color you bring to people's lives when you are not with me.
I love watching you with your cousins. Although most of them are younger than you, you connect with them in fantastic ways. One of my favorite moments of the summer cousin time was when one of your cousins told me that she knows you will protect her. I loved watching the two of you laugh endlessly, then focus and discuss things on the couch together. I just love seeing you "click" into place with people. I love that more than one of your cousins has told me recently that they know you love them so very much.
I love that we all know that even if there is tension sometimes, sibling bickering, or foul moods, you will ALWAYS have our backs. You are always on our side. You have fierce, unwavering love for the people you choose to love, and you would do anything you could to protect them. We have seen it many times. I pray that as you continue to grow in patience and wisdom, you will be able to discern the right time and way to stand up for those you care for.
I know that you are going to do big things in this world. I know that you are going to continue to live a life of inquisitive discovery, and that you are going to find special ways to leave a lasting mark. I know that you are passionate for making this world a better place, that you love the environment, nature, animals, and more. I have seen the fire in your spirit when you hear or see injustice.
As always, there are struggles in each year that we live and grow, but really, Collin, this last year was so wonderful overall. You have become more patient, and less quick to react in many situations. I know that it has been a hard road to get to this point, and I have seen you work incredibly hard to be where you are. I know that it isn't always easy and that mistakes will be made, but I also know you learn from each of them.
I pray that in this coming year, as a teenager, you continue to find passions and interests in new and exciting things. The world is still opening up for you, and there are countless opportunities ahead of you to find what brings you joy.
I pray that you continue to have patience, grace, and kindness for those around you, and that each day, you feel patience, grace, and kindness toward you as well. You give some of the very best hugs on the planet, and I pray that you never stop sharing that gift with me and the many others who love them too.
I pray that while you grow stronger, you continue to grow gentler as well, and are able to find the balance in each moment. I pray that your love of nature, of cats, and the rest of the world around you continues to deepen.
I pray that you are always able to find safe spaces and comfort in your environment.
I pray that while your mind continues to race, it also continues to learn to rest.
I pray that you and your siblings continue to grow up, but grow together, and use these next years to solidify your bond that will carry you through the rest of your lives. Siblings are a priceless treasure, and I pray that you all always know that you can count on one another. Always.
I pray that as you continue on in middle school, you find your people- the ones you know will have your back just like you do for so many that you love. I pray that you will find yourself as part of the larger community of peers, and never as an outsider.
I pray that even though you sometimes feel different, you realize we are all unique, and even in your differences, you truly, completely belong.
I pray you will continue to be proud to be my son and never embarrassed to be with me. There's something so wonderful about the fact that you are still willing to hold my hand while walking sometimes. I love that you tell me you love me in the drop off lane at school as you exit the car- even if occasionally you're in a grumpy morning mood.
I pray that these teenage years are a lot of fun. I know there's potential for... moods, and stuff... that comes with the age, but I also know that there's potential for SO. MUCH. FUN. It has already been a joy seeing our relationship grow and evolve as time ebbs on.
I pray you will always let me call you Ollie Bear, even if it's eventually only in secret.
Collin, my love, the world is a better place with you in it. Never let yourself believe otherwise.
I pray that being a teenager is all you dream it will be, and so much more.
You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. I'm so glad you're mine.
Love,
Mom
