Let's Just Be Honest...

...sometimes, I'm an emotional basketcase.

Lately, a lot more than normal, it seems, but I might be mistaken. I guess I don't keep a log of how many times I cry.

The past week or so, I just have been weeping easily, more frequently than normal it seems (no, I am not pregnant for those who automatically associate emotions with pregnancy).

My brother deployed for Kuwait. I bawled myself to sleep.

I was having issues with low self-esteem and symptoms of my PCOS. I bawled myself to sleep.

One of my best friends (and she's a new friend, which makes it harder, I think) is moving to Alaska in less than a month. And, to top it off, Jake's twin is moving too! I cried and then fought back tears and then cried some more. Happy for both of them, but it's going to be a huge change to have them both gone.

I didn't have much alone time the past few weeks. I cried hard about it.

I was feeling super sick with a sinus infection yesterday and had to deal with Spencer teething. I cried multiple times.

And then.. the kicker. Spencer is getting teeth.

While that's a super-exciting-happy-milestone in babyland, it also send me into a fit of tears and sobs one night as I lay in bed next to Jake. He asked "what's wrong?" I broke down instantaneously and replied, sobbing heavily, "I don't want Spencer to get teeth!"

Why? It seems so strange and silly, but it makes sense. As I explained to him, the appearance of teeth means "goodbye, toothless baby-grin. hello, toddler-mouth."

Yeah, I associate, in my heart, his teeth with the absence of baby-hood. Granted, he's still a baby, but once those teeth come in fully, he'll look so much older. He's got more hair than many babies I know, and has for quite some time. He's very tall. He looks much older than he is without teeth, and with teeth, well... I don't want people asking how old he is and when I tell them "9 months" they say, "he looks so much older!"

I WANT HIM TO BE A BABY LONGER.

DANGIT, why can't time stand still, just for a while?! Seriously.

You hear all the time from experienced parents who say "time really flies by" and other variations of that. And I knew it, but I just didn't... feel it to my core.. like I did the other night. Time goes WAY TOO FAST. He is almost ONE! WHAT?!

ACK. Okay, time to go before I get emotional again. Haha.