For two days, I had been having cramps and "pms symptoms" and though I figure it was too early to take a test, I also knew my cycle wasn't supposed to arrive until at least Friday. So, after texting my husband and a few friends about whether or not I should test, and realizing that when I found out I was pregnant with Spencer, it was following a very similar timeline (an hcg trigger shot on a Wednesday, and a test less than two weeks later, on a Monday), I bought a package of tests and went home. I wasn't going to take one, actually. But then, I had to go to the bathroom really badly. And I decided if it was negative, I'd not get my hopes crushed, because it was still only 12 days post trigger shot.
Well, I dipped the stick and capped it, and then I brought it to the kitchen and propped it vertically (like the directions said) and let it beep the digital timer picture as I started doing dishes. I was going about my business and trying to ignore the fact that it was there, until I rinsed a dish and caught that the blinking had already stopped, a bit earlier than expected. Needless to say, I figured it was negative.
Nope. It said "pregnant."
I tried to call Jake. I was trembling with disbelief. I mean, I had lost Sprout in September, and then had to wait two months while using birth control to heal from the D&C, and this was our first cycle trying again. It couldn't be right, could it?
Well, he didn't answer. So, I panicked, because heck, I needed to talk to someone who could not only keep a secret, but also share in my disbelief-stricken joy. I dialed Desi, my dear sister-friend. She was super excited for me and assured me it was more than likely a positive positive. Gosh, I love her. And then, after a few minutes of exuberant conversation, I tried to call Jake again.. and again... and again.
And he finally answered! And he didn't sound super excited. I think he said he was eating. Haha. But he really was. He assured me. And I KNOW he was.
I was 3 weeks, 1 day pregnant. Wow.
And then, we had to wait nearly a month to get an "official" ultrasound. However, I was having intense pain, so I went in early. At almost six weeks I was having excruciating pain in my back and hips. They diagnosed me with a UTI and kidney infection. They did an ultrasound to make sure it wasn't an ectopic pregnancy, and saw the amniotic sac forming in the proper place, so that was reassuring. Though, after taking the meds for the infection, the pain persisted and got worse, and it was determined I have sciatica on both sides of my body (from my back down to my heels I get sharp pains, it's not awesome), and it may or may not get worse as the pregnancy progresses. Yikes.
If you're a friend of mine on Facebook, two weeks ago today, there's a pretty good chance you would have seen the following picture on your newsfeed (unless you blocked me or something, of course).
The caption I gave the photo read:
Jake and I discussed when to share this news with everyone, as we've known for a little over three weeks. While it's still very early (6w3d) into the journey, we truly appreciated the support we received when we lost Sprout. We thank God for all of you who sent prayers last time, and hope that you could possibly spare a few moments here and there to pray that we are able to hold Baby Bojangles in our arms in August 2012 (estimated arrival: August 26).
We decided to announce early, again. Yes.
Over the following two weeks, I tried to not be nervous about how when I was pregnant with Sprout, the first ultrasound went well, and then by the 9 week mark, we found out we had lost our baby at 7w6d.
I was doing well until I was 7w5d pregnant with Baby Bo and realized it was the last day that Sprout's heart was beating. I've been a mostly silent (about it) ball of nerves since.
Thankfully, prayers work and the ultrasound this morning showed Bo's heart beating rapidly. We heard the heartbeat this week (only saw it two weeks ago) and it was 185bpm. The baby was already moving like crazy (much like Spencer. I think we'll have another boy) and she had to try to get the measurement twice because Bo moved during the first listen/measurement. That was perfect to me!
The crown-rump-length measurement shows Baby Bo is at 8w6d instead of 8w3d, but for now, they're not going to change my due date. We were given a few photos and taken to a consult room where we waited the last part of our appointment.
When the PA came in, she explained to us that I have a small (on the ultrasound screen, it was about the size of Bo's amniotic sac) placental/uterine hemorrhage, which is technically called a subchorionic hematoma. She said it should heal on it's own by 20 weeks, but if I have lots of bleeding to call and come in. If I have spotting, it should be okay, as long as there's not a lot of cramps.
In this day and age, of course, I went to Google, which scared the heck out of me as it told me that it can increase chances of miscarriage, or not heal, and can actually tear away completely and cause harm to the fetus, so I should take it easy and avoid heavy lifting and strenuous exercise and things of that nature. Which makes sense.
I decided I will try not to worry about it. If she says she thinks it should heal, I should just trust her medical expertise, but of course, Jake and I discussed that we will definitely proceed with caution and I should "behave" so as to not increase chances that it does not heal. Other than that, we're just going to pray and hope that in two weeks, and again in four weeks, it has decreased in size or healed completely. Your prayers are appreciated too, if you are so generous as to spare some on us!
Anyway, so... we're pregnant again! Spencer will hopefully be a big brother in the end of August, and we're delighted!