Thursday, December 24, 2015

To my babies on Christmas Eve

My darling miracles,

Tomorrow morning is finally 25! Yes, that day you've been so anxiously awaiting for weeks will have finally arrived when you wake. I told you that you had to sleep so it would come, didn't I? See, mommy knows things...

This Christmas is very different than any we have had together before. This year, when you wake, it will be just me in the living room. Well, me and your cat, anyway. But that's it. Just us. No daddy, no friends, no aunts or uncles or other family. Just the four of us and our feline friend.

You will be so distracted by the pile of wrapped treasures under our tree that I am guessing you won't notice the missing piece of our family. I pray you won't, actually.

But, I know I will.

And because I fear, though I will fight by beat against it, that my emotions mixed with the joyous chaos will get the best of me, I may not be able to explain as adequately as I would like to the gifts under your tree.

You see, my babies, you are loved. Tremendously. 

You don't see it or necessarily comprehend it yet, (I do not always, myself) but someday, you will. 

In front of our pile, you will see three simply wrapped gifts, in plain brown paper, one for each of you. These gifts are from "Santa."  Though, honestly, your aunt and uncle played Santa this year. But, there's significance in the simplicity that your uncle and I share thoughts on. 

Santa isn't the spotlight, you see. I know that kids in daycare and many other avenues like to lead little kids to think he's super spectacular, but I feel differently.  Yes, "Santa" is a great idea and I love kindness and generosity behind it, but it's just not quite right as it's sold nowadays.

You don't earn these gifts under your tree. It isn't about you being a good or bad little kid.

It's about love. After all, Christmas is Jesus "birthday", and Jesus was ALL ABOUT UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.

And, my children, you are basking in boundless unconditional love.

You know Jesus loves you. You know I love you. You know that your family loves you, and your close friends love you.

But, this year, behind those Santa gifts, there's a pile of others. A few are from me, but most aren't. In fact, most are from people you don't even know very well, if at all.

And why? Because we, my darlings, have been humbled. And in this act, we have been shown love. God has brought people into your lives that want you to know joy, happiness, and wonderful Christmad morning memories, because God has allowed them to love you.

And when our tiny little family leaves the apartment tomorrow afternoon, you will be greeted by the arms of more people who love you tremendously.  And the next day, and the next, and the next.

Because God is great. He gave us Jesus, so that we would know this unconditional love.

Someday, I pray you'll understand much better without the gifts under the tree. But because you are so little, I accepted them on your behalf, despite hesitation that they are unnecessary. Because they were given out of desire to show you love.

God bless your tiny, huge hearts.



  1. Nik you simply are amazing. Your an amazing mother to those 3 beautiful kids. And I bow my head to you lady! Your strong beyond you believe and you have such grace. Merry Christmas and God bless you:)

  2. Merry Christmas!! You are far richer than most people I know for they will never see this season as you do. Your kids are beyond blessed to have a mommy like you. Many Christmas blessings for you all.