“He will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair. In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks that the Lord has planted for his own glory.” Isaiah 61:3 NLT
If you know me personally, you are likely to know that on March 31, 2020, I tested positive for COVID-19. I have yet to write a detailed post on that, although it’s been on my mind to chronicle my journey medically because the stories are still helping others to fight that battle. It was a long journey. I was sick with a fever and persistent symptoms for over six weeks. I had COVID-19 turn into pneumonia, and shortly after returning to work for a handful of days, I came down with bronchitis which knocked me down and out for another two weeks. I battled almost all of the symptoms, and while I was fortunate enough to be able to fight the illness off at home, there were a few nights I was not sure I would survive it, many nights I could hardly sleep, multiple nights I was quite scared because I could hardly breathe to walk a few steps, and many, many nights after I would wake up in a panic unable to breathe, or feeling like while I was sleeping I was also suffocating with a lack of oxygen. I had terrible, migraine like headaches for weeks on end, body pain like I had never experienced before, and so many more issues. I was contacted a week or so into the illness to ask if when I recovered I would be willing to donate plasma with COVID-19 antibodies (convalescent plasma) and I said definitely. But they said I needed to be recovered first. I tried multiple vitamins, supplements, antibiotics, and rescue inhaler just to keep on going. My kids were terrified many nights that I was going to die. They thanked God that I didn’t almost every night for multiple weeks.
After the six weeks of fever, I realized I still had shortness of breath, cough, headaches, body aches, exhaustion, fatigue, joint pain, muscle pain, nerve pain, and it felt like I was going to have a heart attack more often than I care to remember. I was considered recovered, but also not considered really recovered. Every time they would call I would still be coughing. That was the main thing in their mind. I had to stop coughing and I had to be done with the shortness of breath.
In the middle of July, I had another follow up appointment. All of my bloodwork came back within normal ranges, with kidney function levels at the very cut-off for the low end of normal range. But, I still had fevers. I still had nerve pain. I still had chest pain and shortness of breath. My heart was constantly racing when I was awake.
My EKG that day was fine so I wore a Holter monitor for 24 hours to see if it would catch the tachycardia and palpitations I felt.
It did, but I wasn’t considered “bad enough” to need further testing. I was placed on a beta blocker for the tachycardia (my heart rate exceeded 150 for normal daily activities) and an anti-convulsant for the nerve pain. I was still coughing, exhausted, in pain, with random spikes in fevers, and always, always tired.
In the middle of August, my cough seemed to mostly disappear. It’s now the beginning of September and my cough is very rare. I actually only notice it when I over exert myself, or when I miss my dose of beta blocker. When I miss my beta blocker dosage, the tachycardia and palpitations come back. I still have nerve pain, every single day, usually now located only in my hips and legs. It’s tolerable because I’m used to it. It’s definitely less on the medication, but it hasn’t disappeared.
I am still exhausted so easily. My muscles are still rebuilding and hurt and ache. I still get headaches pretty frequently, and I have some days with really intense brain fog where I feel like a fool. I rarely wake up in a panic that I am unable to breathe, but I always sleep holding a pillow because I can’t handle the pressure of my arms crossing in my sleep. I have random days were there are minutes of blurry vision I for no reason. I already said it, but I’m always tired. Last week I napped every day and still felt exhausted. My blood levels are still normal and so there’s no documented “reason” for any of it, other than lingering effects of a long battle with Covid-19.
I still have healing left to do, but I am so thankful that I am where I am after what feels like an eternity.
However, last week, after months of battling, because my cough was finally considered to be gone, I was able to go into the hospital and donate convalescent plasma. I was nervous that day because I haven’t been inside a medical facility without a fever in months. My heart rate was always way too high, and so was my blood pressure, and I was not sure if I would pass the vitals check that day. Thanks to the beta blocker, I was able.
It was going well, but about halfway through, the needle pierced through both sides of my vein. There was an instant bubble and blood leaking, and I had to stop early. I was able to fill a few bags almost halfway, which is better than nothing at all. I am still recovering with quite an unsightly bruise with some swelling and pain, but I will gladly do it again if and when I’m able.
I had said from the beginning of my battle, I just hoped something good would come from my journey. I wanted to bring hope. And now that I am closer to healed than months before, I am hopefully able to take my fight with the taunt of death and give someone the hope for life.
Finally, beauty from the ashes.
