Side note: I'm writing this as Spencer hangs out in the living room with Wendell, watching "Elmo's World." Sometimes, I let myself think that setting him in front of the TV makes me a bad parent. But, I've reconciled that feeling with the fact that I don't set him in front of the TV ALL THE TIME, or even that frequently. Just when I feel I really need a few minutes (3-50, depending on the day) where he's focused on something intensely and that something doesn't include me. It's been a very long week (I've been away from home 11 or so hours a day last Thursday, Friday, and this Monday-Today and including tomorrow) at work, and I am exhausted, and sick as heck, and stressed. So I thought blogging a little might help me relax, as, well, I love to write.
Anyway.
What inspired this post? I'm not going to lie, and I'm sorry if this is disgusting, but... I just was sitting in the kitchen, drinking a soda (in attempt to eradicate a headache that's making me have the urge to bang my head on a wall for relief), when I started gagging so fiercly that my eyes were watering, and therefore, I couldn't see well, and didn't make it to the bathroom before I started losing...
Yup.
It's the same as Spencer's pregnancy: I didn't start getting the gags and throwing up until the second trimester. Well, I'm almost there this time, and sure enough, it's starting to force its way back into my day.
Although, it's worse this time. Really. It's more frequent, more random, and more intense. And, truthfully, when I'm done throwing up, most of the time, I cry about it. Sweet.
Baby Bo is measuring ahead, almost a week. Spencer measured ahead, but only a few days up until I was full term, and then he was a week ahead. I'm kind of scared that Bo will be ginormous!
But everything else feels a little different, and I don't know why. I have cramps and pains that I didn't have with Spencer. I mean, I had them, but barely noticed them then. I don't know if it's because of the little problems we've had along the way this time that makes me more aware, or what.
I am drop-dead exhausted almost all parts of the day. I think part of it has to do with already having a 15 month old. But, who knows. Well, I also think part of it is the progesterone they have me on to help me sustain the pregnancy, and I'm happy to report that I stop using it on Monday! Woohoo! I can't wait.
I don't have consistent cravings, or really food aversions (although the smell of bacon freaks me out). With Spencer, I wanted chocolate milk, tomatoes, and potatoes, frequently. This time, it's pretty random. I guess the exception is Buffalo Wild Wings. Haha. But otherwise, it totally varies.
The sciatica is an issue I didn't have last time. Not even at the end of my pregnancy.
I think I *may* have felt baby flutters this morning.
And lastly (for now, because Spencer's getting tired of Elmo), this time, I feel really self-conscious. As in, I have lost 9 pounds since I got pregnant (as I did with Spencer, I lost a bunch of weight before gaining any back and barely gained more than I was before I was pregnant, which was nice (so that's a similarity for now)), but I feel like I look much pudgier already. I can tell that some of it is baby, whether it's bloat or actually belly, I can't always tell, but it makes me feel awkward. I can't zip and button my regular pants and comfortably sit down, already, and it freaks me out. I find myself nervous about what I wear because I don't want to look like I'm overly-obese or something. Ugh.
And... there's Spencer's crying. More another day, perhaps.
Oh, and another side note: Tomorrow is mine and Spencer's last day of daycare, and then, we begin our journey staying at home together. Wish us luck.
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