Fatherhood

I was never sure I would have the opportunity to be a mother. I had hoped, dreamed, and prayed I would, but I never knew it would happen.

But, it did.

I never imagined I would be a father, either. But, I realize this year, I kind of am.

Now, do not get mad at me for saying that, although, truthfully, I am a little mad, and ashamed, to say it about myself. But it's true. I haven't gone through any personal physical transformation, but the lives of me and my children have, and it's landed me as not only a mother, but also as a father.

I know, I know. That rubs some the wrong way. No, I am not downplaying the role a "real" father plays in a child's life, or the role my children's father has played and does play in their lives.

But the fact of the matter is that right now, I take on both roles, almost always. 

I know I'm not alone.

Just as I wrote a year or two ago about motherhood not being defined as having biological, living, breathing, human children, the same goes for fatherhood. A father can be a biological father who created children, a family member, a friend, our Father Jesus... Or a mother who does it on her own, whether by choice or not.

I'm not about to get into any nature/nurture/GLBT type issues, but with my life as it has been over the course of the last year, I have reflected often on those issues and what a father or a mother really means, what plays the most important part, and what doesn't matter as much. 

My children look to me for almost everything in their lives. Me and my alone.  I take on both parental roles, and others as well. I'm not bragging, it just is how it is.

So, while Father's Day is spent honoring and celebrating biological fathers everywhere, this year, I have a new understanding and consideration, and I will be celebrating the fathers in my life, as well as the mothers who act as fathers, too.