Thursday, February 3, 2011

Green means go.

My mom and her boyfriend spent the last four or five days (I lose count) at our place while she searched for a vehicle to replace the one that was demolished in front of our house the night before Jake and I went to California.

Today, she found and purchased one. In order to secure the purchase, I gave her a ride to the bank. Spencer got mad at a red light, and when it turned green, I said something to him to the effect of "green means go, so now you can be happy." That lead to a conversation between my mom and I, in which she told me a story from my childhood.

To summarize: I was about two, and my mom and dad were in the car with my dad's good friend, Brad. Brad was driving. I was telling Brad, at a stop light, that "red means stop, and green means go." And, he proceeded to run a red light after I said it. My parents were like "What the heck?!" sort of thing, and he realized he listened to a 2 year-old for no reason and ran a red light. We laughed.

But then, I got to thinking about Brad. I don't really remember him, except a few photos from my early childhood, with like, a railroad hat on (my dad worked on the railroad, and those guys spoiled me, I hear), or with a teddy bear. But beyond that, I don't really remember him.

It made me sad. I remember there were years growing up when we mused with my dad about trying to track down Brad, but never were able, that I recall.

I realize that friends drift away. It breaks my heart, but it's true. Fact of life. I have friends that I was really close to that I haven't heard from in years, and others I haven't seen in a very long time either. I was trying to fall asleep, but got to wondering about them all... hoping they're well, wondering what they're up to, if life has blessed them, and all sorts of other things.

I'm sure everyone who reads this has a person or two that they feel that way about, as well. I know we can't keep everyone in our lives forever, but when I think about those I've missed out on along the way, I really wish that we could.

I think what is worst about having friends fade out of your life is when you don't have a "good" reason for it. You just sort of... stop talking. It's not that you don't like each other, love each other, care about the other, and all that, but for some reason, the communication just dwindles away and the flame of your friendship is smothered with silence.

And it always seems like it's been way too long to do anything about it, by the time you finally notice.

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