Monday, February 8, 2016

Fighting Words

I just need to say it.


WHY WERE WE NOT WORTH FIGHTING FOR?!



Today, I learned that my future ex-husband, mostly not-surprisingly, had no response or contest to my proposed divorce and child support order. We are in the final stages of the legal dissolution of our marriage.

I know, and have for quite some time, that he wasn't going to stand up to me on it or fight to have me back. But, I had reserved some hope that he would at least fight for the sake of our children, or even to use them and fight for custody so he could escape being charged with child support.

But.. No. Nothing. Not one response.

Part of me is relieved but part of me feels completely insulted. He invested so many years in this family and then spent years feigning that he cared and wanted us. I guess he spent all he had left for us long ago.

Our worth is not determined by him. I need to remind myself of this when I think about this development and how we are less worthy than trash to him. It's not determined by the lack of fight he put forth.

Our worth is determined by God, who stepped in and cared for us when my husband stepped out. He already won.

I'm praying I can hold onto that latter truth in the days ahead as I process this.

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