Now, I know it.
Just a bit ago, she picked up her brother's photo album that holds photos of their dad with them, a couple of me with him, a couple of me with the kids, and a few of all of us. It's an album I mentioned in a post a few months ago.
She opened it, and the first photo she saw was one of her dad and her brother.
She was super excited to see her brother and proudly told me who it was. She said nothing about her dad at first. She pushed through a few times and pointed out both brothers, herself, and mommy before starting over.
"That's Spence!" she told me. Then there was a pause and she asked "who's that?" She pointed at her dad.
I was caught in an off-guard moment of panic and told her his name.
She didn't even think it was his identical twin. She asked who he was. She didn't know.
She flipped through again and told me a few times "that's Jake."
I told her it is, and "yes, Jake is your daddy."
Over and over. The boys, herself and I... And Jake.
Not daddy. I explained and she wouldn't even call him that.
She doesn't know him. She doesn't know what it means to have a daddy.
I assumed it, but now, I know it's true.
Pardon my silent tears.