Friday, March 4, 2011


This post will be pretty vague at times, I must forewarn.

Lately, as in, the past few days, I've been torn.

Someone who was once a good person will no longer be on this earth, shortly.

Now, I'm not one to say that this person is a bad person, really.

They've done some very, very bad things.

But, as a Christian, I've found it's not really my place to judge.

But I do judge, I can't help it, it seems. I repent and pray, but sometimes, I have to admit, I falter and I judge.

Maybe this person has made peace with God. I do not know. I never will, and I guess, that's okay, though, I really wish I could know.

When this person is gone, I am not sure how I will feel. Will I weep? If I do, will it be because of a loss in my life? Or will it just be out of sorrow for the loss in the family members lives? I know I will weep for them. Despite the bad things this person has done in the past, the person definitely did great things, too, including bringing family into the world. Family that I love dearly. So, for that, at least, I am grateful. And to know that the family will be losing someone does break my heart. Though, I am not sure how all of the family feels about it, either. But I guess that is okay, too. It's not always my place to know everything.

Sometimes, I wish I knew nothing.

I really don't know.

I just don't know.

I do know that I do not wish this person to suffer. I do not have it in my heart for that.

1 comment:

  1. Love you, Nicole. You're in a good place and you're not alone. Wrestle with this in thankfulness, dear lady, because the Lord may have given it to you so that His love may be shown into dark places. I'm praying for all of you.